who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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