Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
