I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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