whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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