new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
