she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
