it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
