So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
