it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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