i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
bring money and cleavage
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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