I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
