He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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