I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Green mimosas i think yes
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
