Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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