I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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