You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
