I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
