I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
