party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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