You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I just blew my weed a kiss
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
