Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
