Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
