yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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