I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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