No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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