Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
