I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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