Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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