HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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