This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
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