There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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