wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm like, not good at living.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
