When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
