haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
