there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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