theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
