I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
