id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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