he wants to bone in the snuggie
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
