we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
