Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
