I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
