Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Randomize
