Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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