She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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