Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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