I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
