But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
He uses pillows to masturbate.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
