Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
