Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
