i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
My pussy is not your playground.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
