so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
