chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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