She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
