Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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