you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
