I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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