I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
